Updated Mesomergos Generators

I have updated various things in the face of updates to the VtS rules. The following are offered because I keep breaking or adding to the old generators. Note a couple brand-new generators, made necessary by a certain player's plunging into glorious war.

The Oathkeeper's Due

This is a one-shot scenario I ran over Discord, using VtS and set in Mesomergos. It is a simple investigation scenario, easily run in a variety of rulesets. Since Mesomergos is a mostly "Bronze Age" setting, I've tried to eschew complicated contrivances that can only be reasonably solved with modern forensics or equivalent magic. Instead, the central ecology of the perpetrators should touch every part of the scenario. Have all the clues point in the same direction, even if it takes a while for the players to understand how.

Player Prompt
You are Sworn, servants of the lord of Lankefur, Oathkeeper Zheng. As his representatives, you have come to the village of Ordos to recover missing tax records. After taxes were recently extracted from the village, a messenger was dispatched to collect the government's half of every tally stick, a sort of ancient receipt. On the road back, this messenger was beset on the road and the sticks were stolen.

The scenario begins as you enter Ordos, but if you have any questions you would have asked before heading out, I can answer those now.

Village Background
Ordos is a village of about 40 households in the wilds south of Lankefur. It is just off the river, and due to the rocky wooded terrain, there is not enough space for millet fields to maintain it. Therefore, the main occupation is goat and sheep husbandry. It is a quiet and even boring place, with a simple tavern, a simple shrine, and simple folk.

Anyone the PCs talk to will assume they are here to stop the recent break-ins. Every few days, when someone is away from their homes the place is ransacked of valuables. The assailants seemingly bust through the windows and carry out anything narrower than the window frame. This happened a day ago to the miller's widow, four days ago to the carpenter, and six days ago to the retired adventurer.

The Heist
Ten days ago, the chieftain of the village's two children, speaking the language of birds, convinced a flock of birds and a heap of bats to steal the tally sticks. They then consulted these sticks to learn who in Ordos was wealthiest, then sent their flighted animals to break into those homes and steal their valuables. Both hopes to steal enough valuables to leave the village behind for a life of adventure.

As siblings do, they have fallen to infighting. Since they no longer need the tally sticks, the sister's gang of bats carries them stick-by-stick to birds' nests by night, and the brother's gang of birds carries them stick-by-stick to the bats' cave by day.

Neither bats nor birds are especially clever. Leave evidence of their goings everywhere, and have PCs frequently spot them. If the PCs are attentive outside of the village, have them notice one carrying a tally stick.

The Chieftain's House
A stately one-story building. The chieftain, Timo, is hospitable, loyal, and provincial. If he learns of the PCs, he will insist on hosting them for as long as their investigation takes. He is also an idiot, which is why he does not guess that the culprits are living in his own home. He will heavily hint that both his children are comely and of marriageable age.

His daughter, Zemin (thief 1,) is the first culprit. She is imaginative but standoffish, and privately calls herself the Lady of Bats. She goes for frequent "walks" at night, conferring with a bat that hides in the local shrine or else going directly to the cave to command her gang of bats. Zemin smells slightly of guano.

Her brother, Lïan (animist wizard 1,) is sensitive but suspicious, and privately calls himself the Bird Lord. He whispers orders to grey cliffbirds that visit him throughout the day, and sometimes visits their cliffs to practice spells. As a wizard, he maintains a spell tablet written in Chicken Scratch, the bird alphabet. As a cantrip, he can see through the eyes of one of his birds, and knows if anyone passes the threshold of his room, where he has left an arcane glyph. He possesses one MD and can cast telekinesis, charm, and call animal. 

Their parents and Timo's wife, Dagmar, is mournful and quiet. She once lived free as a flying squirrel, but was charmed by Timo. One day, he hid her fur, trapping her as a human woman and taking her for a wife. If she could find her fur she would fly away without a second thought, but despairs of ever finding it. Despite this, she loves her children, and has taught them her native language, Bird.

(The fur is buried in some non-descript area in the nearby forest.)

Other Places in Town
The local tavern has no name and no beds. It's keeper, Schol, serves local beer and bread. He is well-acquainted with Dagmar, who visits often, but does not know her secret past life. The tavern is packed at nightfall and almost dead at other times. Schol is amiable, and trusts authority. Popular local ballads include the Burnaway Man, Lu's Long Coat, the Princess Widow, and the Riddle-Granous Vexed.

The local shrine to Xapt is essentially a pile of stones with a carven bell (containing a hidden bat). Every week or so the itinerant priestess Utte comes into the village to give an impromptu sermon on the topic of how universal understanding must be achieved and a kingdom of the righteous established before the emperor shall return to the land. She lives in a clearing in the woods, in the same box she stands on for her sermons.

Delan's house is the meeting place for the Apocalyptic Front, a local partisan group of about ten people. They prepare for the coming apocalypse by listening to Utte's sermons, having cookouts, and drinking at the tavern. Each of them wear's a red harp brooch and is fond of political slogans. If anything egregious happens in town or if the PCs don't seem like they will be able to stop the burglaries, they will form an angry mob and see if they can get results themselves.

The Cave of Bats
A simply limestone cave east of the village. During the day, birds can occasionally be seen entering and exiting it. The first chamber is empty, but a simple copper tripwire near the entrance triggers a mechanism that drops rocks on any entrants (2d6 damage.) The second chamber is full of guano. During the day, it is also full of bats and a growing pile of tally sticks. The third chamber is full of stolen loot: jewelry worth 13 gold coins, 18 copper coins, furniture worth 14 gold coins, thief's rope, and 2d4+1 doses of a random gigre.

If the PCs end up fighting a heap of bats (or birds), most normal weapon attacks will not be useful. Have attacks on the level of "I stab the bats" deal minimum damage. Have attacks on the level of "I throw a net over the bats" deal maximum damage. I wouldn't bother to roll for the swarm's attacks, instead just dealing an automatic 1d4 damage each round. The bats' battle cry is "for the Lady of Bats!" The birds' battle cry is "no, for the Bird Lord!"

The Bird Cliffs
A crag dotted with bird nests. During the night, bats can occasionally be seen dropping sticks onto it. There is a simple box nearby. It is empty, but opening it breaks a glyph etched by Lïan, alerting him that such a thing has happened. Some of the nests glimmer with swag, guarded by birds: jewelry worth 20 gold coins, 21 copper coins, furniture worth 18 gold coins, a scroll of grind, and the Hamsa Sword (a friendly goose. Pull its neck to unsheath a sword that lets you leap 20 ft.)

Adapting to the Players
Zemin and Lïan are likely to have some insight into what the PCs are up to. There's a good chance that they're staying in the same house. Each will try to subtly direct the players to their sibling, to charm and flatter when appropriate, and only in the final eventuality will they resort to violence. They have a good chance of convincing locals of any rumors they wish to spread.

GLOG: Tea Wizard

Tasseomancy, the art of divination using tea leaves, is a potent ability most wizards ignore. It is too free and authentic to teach in a cloister or college, but too regal to leave to hedge hucksters. It seems that the only person to learn the basics of tea reading are the few court tea wizards, and the only teacher of anything beyond that is to live, practice, and face the deceptions of life.

Perk
You can almost always scavenge tea leaves or coffee beans from somewhere. you start the game with 2d4 ceramic cups, as well as a ceramic teapot or wineskin.

Drawback
You need to carry and handle cups to cast spells, which probably means they are in danger of being shattered before you can use them.

Cantrips

1. Share Bond: When you brew tea or coffee, you may add in just enough love that it is Unclean for one person who drinks from it to harm another person who drinks from it. Lasts one day.
2. Magic Thermos: You may specify one cup you own as a Magic Thermos. Drinks in this thermos do not go cool. If this cup contains a spell, you may wait until it is the last spell you possess to pour it out. If you do, roll twice on the spell list and pick which one it is.
3. Tea Reading: you may look at the dregs of a drink someone has finished to tell which tea wizard spell their mental state most resembles.

Spells
Tea wizards do not typically prepare spells from a spellbook. Instead, they pour a cup of tea (or wine or coffee), drink it, and read the remaining leaves (or dregs or residue) to learn what spells they may cast. Most adventuring tea wizards pour all such cups with their breakfast, and carefully haul the dried, soiled cups with them all day until they can be useful.

The benefit of this hassle is that tea wizard spells are more thematic and open for interpretation. For each spell memorized by pouring out a drink, roll randomly on the table below. The strength of the effect depends not only on magic dice invested, but also on whether the intended effect is in keeping with the theme of the spell.

(Note that tea wizards can still learn spells through scrolls and other means.)

d10 Tea Wizard Spells

1. The Shape of a Random Letter: provides mastery over something starting with that letter.
2. Omen of a Heart: creates affinity or vulnerability.
3. A Ring in the Base: binding or combining.
4. The Form of a Snake: enmity or falsehood.
5. Sign of the Spade: fortune or industry.
6. Symbol of a Tall Mountain: journey or hindrance.
7. Forming a House: development and recurrence.
8. A Very Bad Sign-- the Skull!: foundation or collapse.
9. Shape of an Animal: instinct or ken.
10. Outline of a Cross: sanction or sanction.

Mishaps

1. Spell die only return on a 1-2 for 24 hours.
2.  Take 1d6 damage as your stomach turns.
3.  Random mutation for 1d6 rounds, then make a Save. Permanent if you fail.
4. Save vs Fear against literally anything unusual for 1 hour.
5. You receive news that someone close to you has taken deathly ill.
6. You glimpse a sign of imminent death. You will be killed by some cause in the next 1d6 days.

Dooms

1. A terrifying omen shakes you to the core. You cannot regain burnt die for 24 hours.
2. All drink turns to mercury and turpentine for 3 days. You must pass a save vs madness to drink anything
3. A culturally appropriate psychopomp demands that you die to satisfy some obscure facet of the natural order.

d100 Mundane Fictional Animals

As previously discussed, animals are great and should be used in more games. To aid in this, I've come up with 100 fictional animals for a variety of biomes. None of them are specifically magical, and my hope is that most could pass for real creatures.

10% of these are beetles in fulfillment of prophecy.

1. Urban
1. Bluemites, insects that build hives in spots between two places with significantly different atmospheres (e.g. at sewer entrances, beside secret entrances, in eaves)
2. Holms, a small canine creature that inexplicable shows up at weddings and funerals.
3. Torize, rodents that leave slight red streaks on the walls wherever they go.
4. Sawson, an amphibian that has learned to extort humans for food by threatening to spray them with its potent stench
5. Codfly, a flea that lays its eggs in areas rich with chemicals, or in the beds of chemists and tanners.
6. Traudekanny, a deer-like creature that has no fear of humans. When it dies, its flesh and skeleton quickly becomes unbelievably sticky.
7. Pot King, a smug-faced detritivore found in chamber pots. Leaves a new stink.
8. House Lomras, a slug which has been trained to light up when fed vinegar.
9. Bindle Beetle, a resilient insect that is attracted to the smell of urine
10. Hobpigeon, an oversized and militaristic pigeon.
2. Arctic
1. Jeal, clouds of insects that ride the wind. They carry moisture and glom onto other creatures, attempting to freeze prey and implant eggs in the body.
2. Chrop, a yellow rodent that stays near cliffs, baiting predators who would chase it into falling.
3. Succole, a shaggy herd animal that blows its cold breath at any passing animal.
4. Sephass, also called a jagshark, this massive marine mammal crushes ice flows from below to catch prey unawares.
5. Cilmer, a eusocial carnivore that dries wet creatures with its absorbent coat.
6. Candlebright’s Cow, a blubbery marine mammal that is capable of crossing thin stretches of land. Does not resemble a cow.
7. Cone-Arc, a giant hibernating predator whose bell-rattles warn away potential rivals. Eating a cone-arc cone is said to cure impotence.
8. Polar Yehot, a raccoon-like creature that spears its prey with icicles.
9. Caribou Beetle, a blue insect hot enough to melt ice, planting eggs before their puddle freezes over again.
10. Hobseal, an oversized and militaristic seal.
3. Coast
1. Penat, an insect whose round eggs float on the water. These eggs are encased in a wax which is harvested by humans.
2. Thenal, an aquatic mammal that maneuvers prey into areas where they will be broken by the tide on sharp rocks.
3. Chromun, a crustacean with a tail, making it resemble a nautical scorpion. Thrashes wildly if surprised, and easy to surprise. Cautious fisherfolk used them as alarms.
4. Pearlbug, a round white creature found at the bottom of rivers and at low tide.
5. Prisiot, a spotted otter-like creature that hides in reeds and preys on fish. Clothing from their fur provides camouflage in reeds and grass.
6. Willaring, a sensitive fish that can tell whether poison is in the water, hunting only when the area is clear of it.
7. Sea Thape, a tube-shaped creature with spines all pointing in one direction. Venomous.
8. Junkpad, a flat-topped jelly that floats on the surface of water. Can sustain one’s weight for about a second before sinking and stinging.
9. Yeet, a scrappy beetle with an oversized jaw that throws beach detritus and eggs into the ocean to attract prey.
10. Hobstar, an oversized and militaristic starfish.
4. Arid
1. Reedfly, a long and thin insect that sticks into animals and sucks out their lymph.
2. Glider lizard, a reptile that buoys its neck frills into a ballon-like shape, guided by the desert winds.
3. Sury, a reptile with a plated back resembling a small cactus.
4. Settedicky, a lanky herd creature with an impressive jump height and cowardly instincts.
5. Kang, a humanoid marsupial that makes nests in brush and defends oases against interlopers
6. Impellion, a burrowing mammal said to be descended from a pair of mythical lovers wronged by the gods.
7. Confory, a feline creature with a massive hump to contain water. Inveterate persistence hunter.
8. Millowneap, a thin ruminant as white as snow, reflects so much light it blind you when the sun is high.
9. Scarambine, a creature almost identical to a scarab but pedantically different enough to incite corrections.
10. Hobskink, an oversized and militaristic skink.
5. Warm Forest
1. Morson’s Jaw, a tick that stays in trees and thick brush, imitating the sound of appealing prey to attract hosts.
2. Thape, a felinoid with barbed fur. It’s said that “petting a thape hairless” is a cure for most ailments.
3. Roybotch, a bright and small bird. Said to help find lost children.
4. Camelin, a furry primate that is mostly torso. Capable of cruelty, but also profound clarity. Prays to literal garbage.
5. Worepurg, a lapine animal with keen smell and a tendency to feign rabies.
6. Scowning, a creature with a banded leather back that form impenetrable piles with their pack.
7. Bernog, a canine creature with no lower jaw that migrates in the summer and winter.
8. Widowmaker, a brown constricting snake that freezes upright to resembled a thin tree until prey approaches.
9. Wyrm beetle, a legless insect that hordes 
10. Hobstoat, an oversized and militaristic stoat.
6. Cold Forest
1. Brown dash, a winged insect fond of flying into the joints of warm creatures.
2. Yehot, a furry dense-furred mammal. Not intelligent, except that it has learned how to sharpen rocks into primitive knives
3. Prancine, an elegant rodent that mates during the winter, growing a bright purple coat to attract mates during those months.
4. Vikiss, a cylindrical black rodent known for compacting trademark dishes of snow to reflect sunlight into the center for the creature’s warmth.
5. Locarbion, also called the accomplice bird, assists predators in tracking prey in exchange for its share of the meat.
6. Poletoad, a hard amphibian that can survive being frozen.
7. Wild Holms, a doglike creature that is known for attempting to join wandering parties, only to cause serious trouble.
8. Treehorse, an equinoid creature that escapes predators by climbing trees. Make very squirrelly mounts.
9. Jackfrost, a beetle that resembles hoar on leaves.
10. Hoblynx, an oversized and militaristic lynx.
7. Grassland
1. Bowedge, a hiving insect that creates sap along certain grasses.
2. Muppy, an anxious, tall rodents. Digs thin holes straight down to hide in, scratching any who would step on them.
3. Tensitel, a striped mustelid resembling a burnt zebra. Attacks in motion-dazzle
4. Musket, the world’s dumbest bird. It is bad omen for this bird to be friendly to you.
5. Brush Caner, a dog-like creature known for running from predators. Kept as a warning animal.
6. Admian, a hard-headed large flightless bird that swings its neck like a flail.
7. Lowland Andesin, a ruddy goat-like creature that has learned to spit its own poison blood.
8. Shrian, a bird skilled in creating echos to confuse other animals.
9. Holfa, a small beetle that rides seeds through the air. Famously panics upon floating into any large life form.
10. Hobdog, an oversized and militaristic prairie dog.
8. Mountain
1. Mountain Jeal, an insect that descends during winters to freeze small animals.
2. Musclebird, a jacked mauve-coated creature that drops rocks on its prey from high up.
3. Thruffle, a bird barely capable of flight.
4. Hurse, a creature shaped like a mad knot, camouflaged against the rocky wall.  Attracts birds.
5. Naste, a primate that builds simple walls of stacked stone. Said to be an anti-muse.
6. Prockeel, a tufted reptile capable of surviving in the boiling water of geysers.
7. Fensal, a wooly creature that extends its necks to probe holes and gulleys.
8. Upland Settedicky, a lanky creature that bounds easily up rock faces.
9. Promean beetle, a bug that shoots literal sparks as a defense mechanism and to attract mates.
10. Hobmarmot, an oversized and militaristic marmot.
9. Swamp/Bog/Marsh
1. Harpfly, a stinging insect that leaves a small tether connecting it to its discarded stinger, potentially tripping its prey.
2. Bogtra, a dull rainbow-colored fish that can drag itself on land for up to an hour. Has a venomous bite
3. Andesin, a blood-red goat-like creature that is deeply poisonous.
4. Lopper, an amphibian that slaps its tough arm along the water to catch anything peeking out of the water.
5. Taper, a small equine creature used as beasts of burden. Their wide hooves afford better travel in mud and snow.
6. Calcher, a short and wide rodet that can scramble over the water.
7. Yishiona, a scaly predator that creates a diorama of pebbles and grass on its protruding lower jaw to disguise a trap for prey.
8. Fool’s Jewel, an insect that, like its pearlbug cousin, resembles pale gems. Eating one will cure any poisoning, but 1d4 weeks later a hundred insects will burst from your orifices.
9. Peat Devil, a beetle that is said to live near bog mummies or sunken treasures.
10. Hobfrog, an oversized and militaristic frog.
10. Underground
1. Cavary, a flying stone-grey insect that is attracted to light. Eats recently killed creatures and gives steel a milky patina.
2. Burgum, a dark bird that is half-decent at flight in dungeons and caverns, and loves to try.
3. Lomras, a slug-like creature that grows bioluminescent when pregnant to attract predators, who spread their eggs far and wide.
4. Bragviper, a venomous snake fond of ambushing prey. Beginning adventurers curse their penchant for hiding in pit traps. Expert adventurers learn to use the snake’s “boast”-- the telltale sound of its throat stretching in anticipation of a meal— to avoid pitfall traps. 
5. Greepstang, a fleshy six-legged creature with hydraulic blood.
6. Breakoff, a mustelid proficient in grabbing and breaking any limb in their reach with their tremendous set of double jaws.
7. Deepnaste, a primate that compulsively builds barricades.
8. Commen, undersized amphibians with putrid blood that attracts predators.
9. Hakamal, a beetle with neon green and acidic blood, notable for swarming.
10. Hobmole, an oversized and militaristic mole.