Considerations on Cursed Items (GLoGtober 2023)

(Thanks to Semiurge for the prompt and CatDragon for running GLoGtober this year)

Cursed items in dungeon games have sometimes suffered due to tthe gradual shift of how such games tend to be played. I'm sure it made sense at the time to liberally spike treasure hoards with shields of arrow attraction and swords of you-have-to-you-use-them and they're -1, but for many games, even those riffing on old-style dungeoneering themes, it may be good to rethink the approach.

For this new approach, I would like to consider a quite famous magic item, the One Ring from Lord of the Rings fame. You could argue it's not even a cursed object at all, being an intelligent item that works as intended in the most straightforward ways possible given its few tools available to it. But that's kind of neat, isn't it? When I think about what's so cool about the One Ring, I consider:

1. It has a strong connection to an important faction. (In literature, this is story relevance)
2. It has a powerful ability which turns out to be a minor byproduct of its true significance (invisibility)
3. ... and the ability is useless against powerful members of its aligned faction (Ring-Wraiths can see you better, in fact)
4. You can study old lore to find out more about it.
5. It has a hidden strangifier (throwing it in a fire reveals a cool poem that proves what it is)
6. It calls trouble.
7. It corrupts the mind of the bearer and those around them.
8. It must be destroyed to solve the problems it poses
9. ... but it is difficult to destroy.

Generalizing from this method, we can take any useful magic item, like a cloak of elvenkind or a +2 sword or a bag of holding, and answer these questions:

1. This item is important to...
2. It is useful because... (perhaps answered by the item you chose)
3. But it is useless against...
4. You can learn more by...
5. Its hidden strangifier is...
6. It brings trouble by...
7. It is onerous because...
8. You can't just throw it away because...
9. You can't easily destroy it because...

To test this out, I will apply the method to a +2 sword, a bag of holding, and, just for a challenge, a wand of light.

The Caprine Blade, a +2 scimitar of shining steel, the edge curling back like a goat horn.

This item is important to the two kings of Capria, rival claimants for a nearby throne.

It is useful because it strikes truer and better than any mundane blade.

But it is useless against either king, if he can gather the rest of the regalia and sit on the throne uncontested. Then he will be able to commander the wielder.

You can learn more by consulting frescos and cryptic inscriptions in the tombs of Caprine nobility.

Its hidden strangifier is shown when the sword is used to injure a goat. The blood turns to bright violet smoke, in which a horned face can be seen.

It brings trouble by focusing improbable and mythic events onto the life of the wielder-- kidnappings, crossroad knights, prophetic dreams, affable bandits, and bridge trolls.

It is onerous because it cannot be hidden. The sword is always the most prominent thing in a crowd.

You can't just throw it away because both king's agents search for it, and if one manages to get it he will transform into a horrific goat demon.

You can't easily destroy it because the shards will always find their way to each other again, and in the meantime there will be plagues and curses upon the land.

The First Bag, a humble sack of sewn lionhide, battered and ragged. 

This item is important to giants and goblinoids, who consider it sacred beyond reckoning.

It is useful because it can carry any amount of unliving material, including Death himself.

But it is useless against the usurper goblin king Mabdab Boney-Face, a necromancer and warlord par horreur.

You can learn more by interpreting the legends of goblinoid shamans regarding the curse Death laid on clever heroine Zheepdeep Skullbiter.

Its hidden strangifier is found when it touches a corpse up to three days fresh, which will get up and flee the bag.

It brings trouble by rejuvenating long-dead giants and antediluvians wherever it is taken.

It is onerous because it isn't. When the bag is in hand, it weighs only a little. When it's not close at hand, everything else you're carrying starts to weigh more.

You can't just throw it away because those damn undead giants will seek it out and use it to flood and burn your sinful contemporaries in ultimate generational warfare.

You can't easily destroy it because the one thing you love more than anything is lost within, and to destroy the bag would destroy everything inside.

Gatestaff, a thick wand of ancient, polished pine.

This item is important to the Lightblinders, a society dedicated to freeing a star that was long ago imprisoned within the staff.

It is useful because it can fire a glow that blinds or guides, with many charges

But it is useless against the Lightblinders, with their searchlight eyes, who ever seek it out.

You can learn more by consulting wizardly royal advisors, the students of the students of those who imprisoned the star long ago.

Its hidden strangifier is glimpsed in total darkness, faint writing that glows, warning against "breaking the gate"

It brings trouble by glowing in the presence of those it thinks can bring it closer to its servants.

It is onerous because every time you actually use the wand, consuming charges, you reduce the strength of it as a prison.

You can't just throw it away because it sometimes fires a blazing beacon, using up charges and calling the Lightblinders. A wielder can contest this by strength of will.

You can't easily destroy it because that will free the horrible star from its jail and cause untold catastrophe.

As a parting note, I observe that the plan to destroy the One Ring was based on some pretty clever (dare I say OSR-compliant) reasoning, that the Fires of Mount Doom must have been able to melt the ring because they were hot enough to forge it. Feel free to design special ways of disarming these major cursed objects, but allow for good problem solving as well. These items don't need to radically redefine the aims of the PCs. It's just nice that they might.