Whose Measure God Could Not Take: Location: Spelunking for the Dream Engine (Crowd-Sourced Rumor Dungeon)

To make this adventure location, I asked the good people of my GLoG server on discord for rumors, then I built the dungeon around what I received. In accordance with common advice regarding rumors, I tried to make them mostly-true and relevant to the location.

Rumors:

1. A pirate-monk buried himself in the wall with all his treasure (Primeumaton)
2. For years, people would vanish near the caves. Most were presumed dead. In the last two weeks, they've been coming back. They don't remember where they've been, and are confused to find that so much time has passed. (Susurrus)
3. They say there's a beautiful light deep inside. No one knows what it is but every time someone returns having witnessed it, they become obsessed. Eventually they set off to find it again. None have returned (Halfalcon)
4. Mothers used to leave unwanted children at its mouth. Sometimes the children came back, when they weren't children anymore (Semiurge)
5. "Thar be gold there, aye, but this gold talks, ye hear? Solid gold statues that act no different from ye or me," "I hear they're hollow. Solid gold is heavy," "Shaddup" (Halfalcon)
6. Mother Gretel (you know, the old lady near the swamp, who turns people into frogs) learned her first spell on the knees of the devil who lived within (deus ex parabola)
7. Joey Marconi's boys have been seen hanging around. I bets you all the treasure in Calabel that that's where he's hiding from the feds after that debacle with the grand duke's daughter's wedding. (Halfalcon)
8. Long ago, I got lost there. Ran out of food. Thought it was over. But suddenly I saw a warm light. I crawled as fast as I could, and found a taqueria, in the middle of dangerous territory, open at 2 AM. I don't know if it was my starvation, but those were the best tacos I've ever had! And cheap too! Alas, I've never been able to find it again, and now I'm old, far too old to brave the journey again. (Halfalcon)
9. They say that the old god of the wood rests within. Licking it's wounds. They say that if you find it, and help pull the arrows off it's back, it will grant you a boon. (Gorinich)
10. I hear it turns you inside-out. (CommonUse)
11. spiders are afraid of, if not the dungeon itself, something therein (SunderedWorldDM)
12. Eating the mold lets you see Fae. (Hilander)

There is a gradual descent from top-left to bottom-right, the caverns all uneven limestone with occasional dripping stalactites. Smells damp and sandy.

D6 encounters

1. 1d2 Returned Spelunkers (stats as thief 1) Dead people resurrected in a batch after centuries of the Dream Engine working at it. Vivid, unpleasant memories of the afterlife. May want to conceal knowledge of the dream engine
2. Changeling (stats as doppleganger)
3. 1d4 Somber Idols (stats as bugbear, corpses worth 200 g.c.), animate golden statues which are the result of those who wished for great wealth. Few memories, but a sense of their own royalty.
4. 1d6 Boys, scouting for Joey Marconi
5. 1d10 Land Eels (stats as giant ferret, but 3-in-6 surprise chance when darting from a crease in the cavern wall) Scaleless, leering snakes with stubby, desperate, powerful legs for launching from hiding.
6. The deadly half-living half-man-eating half-tiger (8 HD tiger with one less claw attack than normal, undead, can only attack someone's right side.) Someone tried to wish for a super-cool white tiger companion, and only the left side managed to appear. It stands in defiance of gravity and nature's laws, its bones and organs visible.

In general, Spelunkers and Boys are happy to avoid conflict but don't want interlopers to understand the dungeon. Land Eels and the Half-Tiger are predatory against anyone but the Somber Idols but have an animal's sense of self-preservation. Changelings may prey on anyone but are curious about the outside world. Somber Idols are suspicious of interlopers, but disdain all other intelligent inhabitants.

Key:

1. Bat cove. Stinks of guano. During the day, disturbing the bats will spook them, and in their confusion they have a 3-in-6 chance of extinguishing torches and a 1-in-6 chance of shattering lanterns. Then roll an encounter check.
2. Lair of the half-tiger, each of its victims half-devoured (right side only). The floor is slicked with rotting gore because the tiger’s stomach empties immediately, and those who walk through this chamber will leave footprints for three turns. If you roll a random encounter here, it is the tiger. No other denizen will enter here. If the remains are searched, a sack of ball bearings, 30' of rope, a pair of climbing shuko, and a pointed wizard cap can be recovered.
3. Ancient rope bridge across a 60' deep chasm. It is in poor repair, and takes a full Turn to safely cross. If 1000 pounds are ever on the bridge all at once, it snaps apart and anyone on it must save vs paralysis to grab on to the ropes, ending up dangling against either cliff face.
4. Old God of the Wood. (Imagine if you stuffed a deer skeleton into a baboon. This is what it looks like.) Wounded by a steel-tipped arrow, it has lain bleeding for years. Those who brave its frightened snaps to clean and dress the wound, or to put it out of its misery, gain a boon— they can transmute hit points into loyal rabbits. As long as their rabbit survives, they are not fully dead. Eating a rabbit restores the HP. If you would be killed while your rabbit lives, you gain control of the rabbit, and can speak with druids, which is convenient because they are the people most likely to be able to reincarnate you back into a humanoid form.
5. An ornate swirl at the eastern side of the chamber conceals a hatch. The whole floor of this chamber is on a massive lever-plate, and when the south half of the chamber is 50+ pounds heavier than the north half, the hatch opens, dropping a massive circular boulder painted with an angry face. The boulder shoots east to west, bounces off the wall, and proceeds to roll towards and across the rope bridge in area 6. After the hatch opens, ask the players what their PCs are doing. Those who would be overrun by the ball may make a save vs death to jump out of the way just in time. Failure results in death.
6. Rope bridge over a chasm, reinforced with chains and rusted metal planks. Standing in the middle of the bridge is Connel, an “immortal” “knight” whose wish at the Dream Engine half-failed. Insane and pulverized by the boulder from area 5, he is essentially unkillable and moves in a strange way. Since his flesh has been pounded to putty he needs the shape of his plate armor to move. Will demand those who wish to cross play a game, and warns death will be the cost of failure. His riddle is this— "Take all of me away from all of me, and you will have no less than you started with. How much am I?" The intended answer is "zero,"
7. Dream Engine. A shallow pit filled with many-colored lights. Meant to grant wishes but lacks sufficient power. If you crawl into it, it will start to grant your wish but the magic will run out way too soon unless you want something very humble like cheap tacos, resulting in some horrorshow manifestation.
8. Old Dracaena plants in five ornate vases. One is stunted, but the rest have grown well. Each vase contains a gold ingot worth 200 g.c. buried in the soil except the one with the stunted plant, which has two.
9. Inconvenient Y-shaped passage, either end sloping down to meet at a pit 50' down.
10. Vinegar pool. Within is a horrific, senile Grendel (stats as ogre mage), twisted by the engine’s magic in his attempt to become a god. Soaking to soothe wounds, he breathes poison. Spiders flee his vinegar scent. He knows magic, and can teach spells in exchange for blood. Use Marquisat COMMANDMENT spells.
11. Motes of exotic bad air fill this chamber, stinking of ammonia and causing uncovered lights to flicker. Those who linger here must save vs death or breathe the fearsome Spasm Spore. This causes them to pass out and suffocate unless dragged to cleaner air, and afflicts them with a ragged gait. Lying in the middle of the chamber is a deceased spelunker. Searching them reveals a topaz ring set in silver (worth 500 g.c.) and four 4" long mechanical mice. Wind up their tails and they will scurry straight ahead up to 50 feet.
12. Marconi’s boys’ holdfast. Door locked, with a sliding peephole. Inside, seven thieves mostly just play cards, count their cash (800 g.c. in a cashbox) and brew gin, but there’s a trapdoor they throw captives down, promising to let them free if they bring back a gem. Down the hole is a 100’ circular hell-labyrinth of cramped, lightless channels inhabited by a killer slug monster. Three pearls are scattered within the tunnels. Also in the holdfast is a letter from Marconi, explaining where to meet up with him once the grand duke's daughter has told him where her father's secret vault is.
13. Six large drums arranged in a semi-circle. The Somber Idols like to rock out with these sometimes.
14. Narrow gap. A party must crawl single-file, and if any combat occurs here attackers get -1 to-hit for every 6 inches of length of the weapon they employ. Shields are useless. Large characters, or those in rigid armor, must save vs paralysis or get stuck beyond their ability to wriggle free. The narrowest spot is plugged by a man in armor. He is facing down towards area 5, and would appreciate some assistance. Named Molf, he is an adventurer chasing a rumor he heard about this cave. Affable but under-prepared.
15. Land eel spawning chamber. Seems like a shallow depression filed with lurid red pearls. These eggs are guarded by 30 land eels.
16. Father (a hobgoblin) and Mother (a troll)’s abode. They teach the foundlings left outside the dungeon, using forbidden techniques of pedagogy to make them into changelings. In addition to some walking-around money lining their straw bed, there is a bookshelf of lesson books, children’s tales (annotated by changelings to highlight horrific violence and laugh at misfortune), and an ancient tome with the inscription “gaude quia non est finis in educatione” on the spine. It contains the aforementioned forbidden pedagogy that allows the transmutation of child into changeling, as well as a sophist’s guide to winning arguments despite being ignorant about the topic, and pointers on how to kill curiosity.
17. Narrow, twisting chute leading up to a narrow crevice on the surface. Descending the chute is tricky, and has all the difficulties mentioned for narrow spaces in area 14. Ascending is even worse, and all but the smallest and least encumbered characters can ascend without making a save to avoid getting stuck. All of this is apparent— warn players before they need to make any saves. Halfway up are crinkled up old taco wrappers.
18. Wet fuchsia mold coats the floor of this steep chamber, with an uneven floor at a 45 degree descent towards area 19. Eating the mold lets you see the fair folk, those small creatures who make magic work more or less as it should. For the next day, you can spot guilty-looking lilliputians hovering around magic objects and spaces, and speak with them to try to learn more about nearby magical effects.
19. Eversion channel. Has the smell of soggy death. The floor is covered in slippery tiles with one of two symbols on them. The learned may discern that they are ancient runes which mean "inside" and "outside," If a character is ever stepping on both an "inside" and an "outside" tile at the same time, they fucking get turned inside-out. Most dungeon inhabitants understand and can avoid this trap, except the Spelunkers and Boys. The Half-Tiger can run at full speed through this channel, all on "outside" tiles. Spaced along the walls are four unique tiles— "There", "Around", "Over" and "Here". The "Here" tile covers a hollow spot— a cavity with a thin dirt covering leading to area 20.
20. Hidden chamber. Contains thousands of gold coins overflowing from old rum barrels. Guarded by the haunted remains of Captain Josie "Hopalong" Duffy, a pioneer of materialistic enlightenment and master of martial arts. Stats as Triceratops, but human-size.